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Dr. Kate Kelly wrote and illustrated a book to help explain death and dying to young children.

How do you talk to children about death? It’s a difficult subject, so it can be tempting to avoid it or to gloss it over to protect young minds.

To help families have this hard conversation, head and neck surgeon Dr. Kate Kelly, who trained at The Ottawa Hospital, tackled it head on. Her children’s book The Big D: Explaining death and dying to young children, follows a child as he learns about his grandfather’s death.

The book is designed as a tool for adults to explain a death in the family to a child. It uses simple, direct words and images so that it’s easy to understand for kids of any age.

Kids often understand more than we give them credit for, said Dr. Kelly.

“I really want to change our approach to talking about death. Even adults don’t always have the words to talk about death, so it’s hard for us to address it directly,” she said.

“It’s so important for little kids to be included in the process of grief and to address death directly, because they are easily confused by our reactions, don’t understand our indirect language, and are scared by the unknown.”

As a medical student at Dalhousie University, Dr. Kelly worked with oncology nurse Joan Hamilton, who helped patients navigate the cancer journey.

“She told me that the one thing she wished she had was a book to explain death and dying to young kids in a straightforward, understandable but sensitive way. I’ve always had an interest in writing and illustration, so I offered to help,” said Dr. Kelly, who completed the book during her residency at TOH.

Hamilton has already used the book with several of her patients and their families and has received excellent feedback.

The book was so well received by Burnstown Publishers that Dr. Kelly has been asked to expand it into a series of children’s books about tough subjects called “The Elephant in the Room” books.

“It’s really grown into something special,” she said. “This is a great platform we can use to help families who need support.”

For more information or to order a copy, contact Dr. Kelly at elephantintheroombooks@gmail.com.

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