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Think of me as the flu Ninja, sneaking into hospitals and catching people unaware. Oh, they know I’m coming – I come every year – but my challenge is to spread myself around before they’ve had their flu shot. Here’s a typical day for me. We flu viruses are team players. My buddies and I enter the hospital on a woman’s purse handle on which her three-year-old sneezed as she walked out the door. Just a few more millimetres and… yes! A bunch of us are onto her hand. Now, rub your eyes, rub your eyes! That’s the easiest way for us to infect someone. We’re stealthy, but we’re also pretty easy to kill with soap or hand sanitizer. Phew. She passes by the Purell station.

Our big chance comes when she stops for a coffee. As she hands over a toonie, five of us do our Ninja stuff, sneaking from the coin onto the cashier’s hand and then onto the next customer’s change. We’ve got two to eight hours to live on a hard surface. My buddy’s nervous about the flu vaccine campaign but I’m feeling lucky today.

OMG! We’ve landed in, like, virus heaven – a young employee transfers my buddy and me from her coins to her straw as she sits down in the cafeteria with her friends. Wait for it, wait for it. Yes! She takes a sip and my buddy disappears inside her. Then she shares her drink with her friend. LOL. I’m in! Gotta love food sharers.

The bad news comes later when I hear that my buddy’s host had already received the flu shot. He’s done for. But not me. Two days to incubate and I’ll be doing my Ninja stuff again before she even knows she’s sick.

Mr. Flu Virus

To get a shot, ask your doctor or your employer (some workplaces offer shots for their staff), or call your local Health Unit to find out where you can get it. In Ottawa, public flu vaccine clinics are listed on the City of Ottawa website, or you can call 613-580-6744 for more information.

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