{"id":72275,"date":"2024-05-30T11:38:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-30T15:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/?p=72275"},"modified":"2024-07-03T10:35:36","modified_gmt":"2024-07-03T14:35:36","slug":"a-few-words-make-a-big-difference-a-guide-to-personal-pronouns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/healthy-tomorrows\/a-few-words-make-a-big-difference-a-guide-to-personal-pronouns\/","title":{"rendered":"A few words make a big difference: A guide to personal pronouns"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Ottawa Hospital\u2019s admitting and emergency registration staff wear these buttons featuring their pronouns<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your pronouns are an important part of your identity, much like your name. Assuming someone\u2019s pronouns based on appearance can not only be wrong, but it can also be hurtful and even harmful. Transgender staff and volunteers at The Ottawa Hospital answer frequently asked questions about personal pronouns and explain how to use them respectfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What are pronouns?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Answered by Darla Burrow (she\/her), eLearning Administrator<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A pronoun is another word that substitutes for a noun and is often used to convey gender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, because a person\u2019s actual gender may differ from the one they were assigned at birth, they may use different pronouns than expected (i.e. a trans woman using feminine pronouns like she\/her). Someone\u2019s pronouns can also change over time as they explore and better understand their gender. Some people have genders which do not fit into the male\/female binary and often use they\/them pronouns. Some experience gender in a fluid way which slides between binary positions, changing pronouns or using multiple sets of pronouns at once (he\/they or he\/him\/they\/them). Others experience gender beyond standard English vocabulary and may use neopronouns like xe\/xir or fae\/faer or have genders rooted in their specific culture\u2019s historical roles whose pronouns don\u2019t translate into English. There are people who do not use any pronouns and prefer that their name be used in contexts where third-person pronouns would be used.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why is it important to respect and ask for personal pronouns?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Answered by Jesse Boss\u00e9 (they\/them), member of The Ottawa Hospital\u2019s Rainbow Patient and Family Advisory Committee and registered psychologist with Tall Tree Psychology<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When we ask about pronouns, it prevents us from misgendering people. We know that getting misgendered has a lot of negative impacts on mental health. It is associated with increased risks of depression, anxiety and suicidality. Many studies have consistently demonstrated a direct link between instances of misgendering or erasure and poor mental health. I would even suggest that asking for pronouns is a form of suicide prevention. It is about protecting gender diverse people\u2019s lives and combatting cisnormativity (the assumption that everyone is cisgender). I get misgendered quite often, and it\u2019s exhausting. I get home at the end of the day completely drained. That\u2019s a burden I carry as a gender diverse person. But if people were to ask about pronouns and not make assumptions about my gender, I wouldn\u2019t have to carry that exhaustion or fatigue. When we don\u2019t ask about pronouns or don\u2019t respect pronouns, it sends a message to gender diverse folks that they don\u2019t matter or that there\u2019s no room for them to exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do I ask for someone\u2019s pronouns?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Answered by Cole Etherington (he\/him), Senior Research Associate<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In general, I think the easiest way is to simply introduce yourself with your name and pronouns to each new person you meet, regardless of their gender identity or presentation. In other words, do this with everyone in your life: cisgender and trans\/non-binary\/gender non-conforming folks alike. Make it just a regular thing and not a thing used selectively. If I meet someone and say, \u201cHi. My name is Cole, and my pronouns are he\/him. It\u2019s great to meet you!\u201d it opens up an opportunity for others to share their pronouns as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have introduced yourself with your pronouns first, and the person hasn\u2019t disclosed theirs, gently ask if they are comfortable sharing their pronouns so that you can address them correctly. I think the majority of people would share them and be fine with the question. If someone doesn\u2019t choose to share their pronouns, or you are unsure of which pronouns to use, it\u2019s best to just avoid using gendered language in the conversation\u2014something we should do anyway, especially when we don\u2019t know someone personally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What if I use the wrong pronoun?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Answered by Darla<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Say sorry and correct yourself. That is it. You don\u2019t need to do anything more than that. But be sure to watch yourself in the future. There is a difference between the occasional slip-up and making a habit of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What are some ways that The Ottawa Hospital respects patient pronouns?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Answered by Ben Murray (he\/him), member of The Ottawa Hospital\u2019s Rainbow Patient and Family Advisory Committee<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In admitting and emergency registration, patients are asked their pronouns when they come in to access care. A training module around gender diversity was launched for admitting and emergency registration staff, which the Rainbow Patient and Family Advisory Committee helped develop. A lot of the staff who took that training got buttons with the pronouns they use, and they have been trained to introduce themselves with their name and pronouns and ask each patient how they want to be addressed. Other training sessions around gender diversity have been held at the hospital as well. Epic [a technology used by the hospital to securely store, organize and access patient records] has been revised so that people\u2019s pronouns and chosen names are on record so they can be referred to by something other than their birth name. There is a push for the hospital to be more equitable and diverse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additional resources<\/h2>\n\n\n\n