I realize now that it wasn\u2019t just a journey to heal my body. It was also a journey to heal my emotional and mental state. Here are some highlights\u2026 and some lowlights. But I have come out the other side stronger.<\/p>\n
<\/strong><\/p>\n Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n My doctor\u2019s office called. It was about the biopsy I had on my left breast last week. I went alone, as Jonathan was in Winnipeg on business. My GP [general practitioner] quietly said the words I was dreading. All of a sudden, I felt like I was in quicksand and everyone could see me going down, and no one could help me. When I got home, I burst into tears and kept saying to my kids, \u201cMommy has cancer.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Today, I met the surgeon, Dr. John Lorimer. He spent a long time answering questions. Likely I’ll just have a lumpectomy. I felt much better after talking to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Monday, Nov. 7, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Appointment with Dr. Lorimer. Jonathan came with me. There are two tumours, which is a game changer. This means a mastectomy. Surgery is in a week. No one knows. I haven\u2019t told anyone at work or the rest of my family. I am the third with a breast cancer diagnosis: my mom and my sister, Laura. It feels like such a bad dream\u2026 Wake me up!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Monday, Nov. 14, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Surgery day \u2013 I keep thinking, \u2018I am living Laura\u2019s nightmare\u2019\u2026 She only lived three years. Is that my destiny too? Jonathan left, as he had to get the kids ready for school. The surgery went well. At home, there were two huge bouquets of flowers and chocolate from Jonathan.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tuesday, Nov. 22, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Everyone was gone \u2013 the kids to school; Jonathan to work. I removed all the bandages. What a shock to see my breast gone! Big scar from my sternum to my rib.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Follow-up appointment with Dr. Lorimer. He gave me the pathology report. I cried when I got home because the flatness of my chest was obvious. I started wearing Jonathan\u2019s dress shirts\u2026very big, loose, so no one sees how misshapen I am.<\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Dec. 1 to 13, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n I decide that things are going to be normal for everyone. We still have skiing, music lessons, hockey, and school. The two kids caught me weeping a few times. It\u2019s so upsetting for them. I went shopping for new clothes. And went back to work.<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n Wednesday, Dec. 14, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n Appointment with medical oncologist Dr. Mark Clemons. Jonathan came with me. Dr. Clemons is very upbeat. Maybe things will be ok. He tells me the plan. I have an estrogen\/progesterone sensitive cancer \u2013 bye-bye ovaries \u2013 and he doesn\u2019t think chemotherapy will work for me. Radiation and hormone therapy instead. I won\u2019t be losing my hair! Good thing, I just got my hair done!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thursday, Jan. 26, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n First day of radiation treatment. I\u2019ll have radiation every day for five weeks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n February 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n I went to work almost every day throughout radiation. Definitely tired, but I read that doing light exercise takes the fatigue edge off. I started on my rowing machine or going out for a run on nice days.<\/p>\n Busy with the kids\u2019 activities. I don\u2019t talk about my cancer to anyone. I wake up at night and stay awake until morning, thinking this a bad dream.<\/p>\n Donna\u2019s family joined her in The Ottawa Hospital Cancer Centre when she rang the bell after her last radiation treatment on March 6, 2017.<\/p><\/div>\n Monday, March 6, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Last day of radiation and my family came to see me ring the bell. That night was my first feeling of abandonment. I hit some emotional wall. I started to panic but went to bed rather than say anything to anyone. I cried for half the night. I didn\u2019t feel healed. I think of my sister every day and her breast cancer struggle, nothing worked for her at all. I started questioning this whole process. I decided to do more running because I do feel better afterward.<\/p>\n Thursday, March 16, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Took my first pill of Tamoxifen. Is this supposed to ward off cancer? Shouldn\u2019t the pill be way bigger? It\u2019s so tiny!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n March and April 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Things are busy at home. I never talk about my cancer. Jonathan doesn\u2019t ask, neither do the kids. Everyone is doing well, which is what I want. I have feelings of panic and anxiety that I\u2019ve never felt before. I\u2019m anxious between doctor visits. I feel like the doctor visits are \u2018islands\u2019 of safety and health. But between appointments, I feel completely lost, like I have been thrown off the island and must swim to the next island, but I can\u2019t swim very well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wednesday, May 3, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Oophorectomy surgery \u2013 my ovaries were removed today. I asked Jonathan to drop me off at the [Irving Greenberg Family] Cancer Centre [run by The Ottawa Hospital but located] at the Queensway Carleton Hospital. I take the alone route, not wanting to bother anyone. The surgery went well. Everyone says I look good (for which I am grateful), but in my head, I feel as though I am falling apart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mid-May 2017 <\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve been oscillating between happiness and anxiety, never depressed but really anxious. I saw a brochure at the hospital on cancer support groups. I am having a huge problem concentrating on anything. My work is suffering. I get overwhelmed with multi-tasking. I\u2019m afraid that I\u2019ll have an accident.<\/p>\n I called and the session has started. But I can have a private session with someone at the psychosocial oncology services…I jumped at that.<\/p>\n In addition to talking with a social worker in The Ottawa Hospital\u2019s Psychosocial Oncology Services, Donna Jakowec coped with the mental and emotional stress of cancer treatments by running.<\/p><\/div>\n Saturday May 27, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n I ran the Ottawa Race Weekend 5 km race tonight! It was so hot, but I placed 89\/374 for women in my age category. It was fun. Running really makes me happy!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Friday June 2, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Went to the Nordik Spa with my mom friends. I\u2019m on an emotional roller coaster again. I was loving the evening, and then it jumped into my head that I could die in three years\u2026like my sister. I got big reassuring hugs, and stopped crying.<\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Wednesday, July 5, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n 11 a.m. appt. psychosocial oncology service at the cancer clinic [at the General Campus of The Ottawa Hospital]. I met social worker Karen McRae. I like her a lot. She is very patient and not irritated by my rambling on about how anxious I am between doctor appointments. We talked for an hour.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Friday, July 21, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Had another appointment with the social worker. We also talked about me taking time for myself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n August 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Went on holidays. Lots of wind, rain, cold while camping but we were having so much fun, it didn`t matter. Focussing on what Karen said, taking time for myself and getting those around to help me. I am very bad about asking for help.<\/p>\n Donna Jakowec raised $2,500 for cancer research and cycled 117 kms in THE RIDE on Sept. 10, 2017 \u2013 another milestone in her cancer recovery journey.<\/p><\/div>\n Saturday, Sept. 9, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t feel great, and tomorrow is THE RIDE fundraiser for The Ottawa Hospital. I\u2019d signed up in May to cycle 117 kms. So many people sponsored me in this event, from family to Facebook friends that I have never personally met!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sunday, Sept. 10, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n THE RIDE day \u2013 I got ready, but not sure I could do it. Figured I\u2019d decide if I\u2019m going to ride once I got there. At Tunney\u2019s Pasture, where it starts, someone suggested I start out and if it\u2019s too much, call for a pick up. So I get on my bike and go. The first 60 km were good, but then I started doubting if I could do it. Then this fella, Denis, rode with me and we chatted. The last 20 km went by very fast. Finally, I crossed the finish line. I cycled the full 117 kms!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n Appointment with Dr. Clemons. He is kicking me to the Wellness Beyond Cancer program. I\u2019m not happy about that. My doctor was my safety net. But I have no choice. So, I\u2019ll give this wellness program a chance.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thursday Nov. 23, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n I need to find a way to convince myself that for now everything is ok. Went to the Wellness Beyond Cancer program presentation. It\u2019s going to be fine. I can do this. I\u2019ve done so much this year. Treatment didn\u2019t stop me from anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Saturday, Dec. 2, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n A wonderful day at the Nordik Spa with my co-workers. I never once thought about my cancer\u2026finally!!! Over the past year, I have gone from thinking I was going to die soon to realizing that I can live with this chronic disease, and that many women do very well. I\u2019ve really got my life back\u2026. thanks to The Ottawa Hospital\u2026 and for that I\u2019m grateful.<\/p>\n Donna Jakowec came out the other side of her breast cancer treatment stronger and healthier.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cI realize now that it wasn\u2019t just a journey to heal my body. It was also a journey to heal my emotional and mental state. Here are some highlights\u2026 and some lowlights. But I have come out the other side stronger.\u201d Read Donna Jakowec’s journal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":34201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[13,381,374],"class_list":["post-34195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy-tomorrows","tag-cancer","tag-patient-experience","tag-wellness"],"acf":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34195\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Donna](\"https:\/\/www.ottawahospital.on.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Cancer-Journal-Photo-4-Donna-Jakowec-family-3-225x300.jpg\")
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